Book Review: Modern Romance

I'm a card carrying member of The Spinster Club. People on occasion ask me why I'm single, and the response I usually give is "You want the list?!". One of the things on that list is that I hate dating, and I am currently particularly disillusioned with online dating - but how else are you going to meet that someonewhoisacceptingofyourweirdness?

A member of my book club recently reviewed Aziz Ansari's new book, Modern Romance, and it sounded like maybe Ansari had some of the answers...

Modern Romance
By Aziz Ansari
277 pages

Apparently Aziz Ansari is a comedian (yeah ok so I'm not up on my pop culture). When a comedian writes a book on romance, usually it's not super stuffy or depressing, right? Well that's certainly true of this book. He goes through some current trends/thoughts/ideas (in a vaguely social-sciencey way that isn't over your head) about love/romance/dating, and the past/present state of each, including a lot of discussion on how technology is affecting the quest to find a partner. There's pie charts! And graphs! There's personal stories! It's funny! And not overly depressing!

I do think singles, or those looking for a partner will get the most out of this book. He does give some interesting truths about the current state of dating including:

  • Our idea of "the right person" has changed from agreeable companion to super perfect solemate.
  • Dating today is more complicated and stressful than in the past.
  • Technology has made dating more challenging, but also easier to find potential partners.
  • It's easy to forget people online are real people with real feelings.
  • Online dating has made it easier to choose people superficially.
  • Online dating isn't dating: it's more like an introduction service. 
  • Now we often get lazy and just go for a drink instead of actually try going out on a "date".
  • ...etc

Nothing earth shattering. You know all of this if you've spent any time in the dating world lately. I knew all of this. Most of this is why I quit dating. So when I read this book, I was nodding in agreement, not writing down things that would help me not be so foreveralone. (Although, probably if I'd done more than skim I would've written down the tips he gives which would've made me better at dating and maybe I wouldn't die alone? But I didn't have a pen handy. Oh well.)

It was funny. And worth a quick read. I'd recommend it to the other singletons out there.

At least it will make you feel like it's not just you.